TAKING A BREAK:
We all need a break, from time to time, and I have been badly in need of one. I took last week off and gave myself a staycation/writing hiatus. It was perfect, all except for last Monday. That was the mother of all Mondays. Everything that could go wrong did. Coupled with my frustration over my recent health struggles and a very negative review for one of my books, the day amounted to a total downer. I may have yelled and thrown a few things.
On Tuesday, I texted my friend and neighbor to see if she wanted to pick me up for a little retail therapy. I’ve had a merchandise card for Maurices with $90.00 on it, eating a hole in my wallet. I can count on one hand the times I’ve been shopping in an actual store, so far this year. I do most of my shopping online, but I figured time with my friend and the treat of shopping would do me a world of good, and it did.
She pushed me around in my wheelchair, and we browsed the racks and even tried some clothes on, which I rarely do anymore. I scored with a few cute tops and a stack of stretch pants, each half off. After, we went to Caribou. My friend ordered hot chocolate, and I ordered my usual, a medium decaf latte with coconut or almond milk and vanilla syrup. And we chatted about everything. I enjoyed our time together so much, a much-needed balm to my soul.
On Wednesday and Thursday, I kicked it into high gear and finished writing my current project, a novella, the second book, Violet’s Vow, in my upcoming Botanical Seasons novella series. It felt so good to have time to write and not think about creating content for social media posts. Each day with favorable weather, I sat on my rocking bench on the deck and simply enjoyed the quiet, leaning my heart toward simple prayers of gratitude and direction.
On Friday, I did a few more book related tasks, the result of which I’ll share with you on my Wednesday blog post. HINT: it involves two new novels!
Saturday, it rained ALL day, which trapped my hubby in the house with me. (Insert gleeful laughter. 😀) He usually putters around outside most of the time on Saturdays, and I hardly get to see him. But last Saturday, we watched a couple of movies, played a Scrabble game—which of course he won—, ate a few meals together, and in general spent quality time with one another. It was a great way to bring the week to a close.
Yesterday, I reprioritized. I came to the conclusion that I need to enjoy my days and not be over burdened with so many author tasks, blogging, social media interaction, and marketing platforms. I don’t have the energy to be cranking out content on Facebook, Pinterest, YouTube, my blog, my Anchor podcast channel, Instagram, and Twitter every day or even every week. I gave myself permission to take it back a notch and relax a little more. If it means I sell a few less books and make a few less connections, so be it. My quality of life is slipping away, and I want to enjoy what I can before I can’t do anything anymore.
A few weeks ago, I saw a Multiple Sclerosis specialist at Mayo Clinic in Rochester, MN. He ordered new MRI scans for me, which showed more damage in my spinal cord and a large area around the base of my neck that has sunken in. In that area the axons, the inner core of the nerves, have been ravaged by my own white blood cells and as a result, my nerve function has decreased and will continue to do so. There is no medical help for the stage I am at. And the specialist could not provide a viable solution for the strange, painful episodes I am having.
I believe these facts resided at the core of the poor start to my week. I’ve been a little angry at facing the reality that it’s downhill all the way from here. It is one thing to think about my decline and process it, still having faith, but to see the actual evidence on the scans, is quite another. But throughout this health battle of the last seven years, I’ve learned that it’s okay to feel, to be angry or sad. More danger results from bottling up emotions and the cycle of grieving than allowing myself to feel, just as long as I don’t get stuck in those emotional spots.
All in all, I had a great week off and feel refreshed, ready to tackle the next phase of publishing for my upcoming books.
HOW WAS YOUR WEEK? WHAT WAS A HIGHLIGHT?